Stumbling thru life w/Grace

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Murphy's Law & Pain Update

I wrote a post, on the day my pain took a turn for the worse. But, I was going to be diligent, and consistent, and write a small post, to keep up consistent appearances. It took me a long while, in between neck and shoulder spasms, but I ended up writing quite a bit. I was very pleased with myself, when I hit the publish button. The next screen that popped up was "We couldn't find the page you requested, try hitting the refresh button, etc. So I tried, and got nothing. My hard earned post flew off into cyberland, never to be seen again:-(

That same day, was nothing short of a tour to Hell. The pain in my neck, and down my shoulder all the way to my fingers became intense. All of it throbbed continually, with painful spasms hitting every 15 minutes to half hour. Which had me screaming like my 9 yr old OWIE OWIE OWIE! Luckily the spasms didn't seem to last longer then 5 minutes each, during which I paced the floors moaning and groaning, ocassionally muttering for someone to just shoot me in the head. (I was ignored at that part by all family members. Someone has to do laundry, cook, and help with homework.) Although my husband has been nothing short of miraculous! Picking up all my chores, handling the kids, and playing their chauffer for various activities. Everyone managed to go to sleep that night, including me, at a very early hour. Except my sleep lasted exactly 3 hours; when I sat straight up in bed screaming from a spasm. Followed by pacing like a caged tiger looking for lunch! This continued until finally my groggy husband said, "Maybe we better take you to the hospital. And I HATE EMERGENCY rooms! The 5 hour waits that are the norm, I didn't think I could survive. But then I had hit rock bottom. I either wanted to slide into a coma (away from the pain) or take mass quantities of dugs to mask the pain.

We did have sleeping kids in the house, who needed to get up for school in the morning, and I hated the thought of upsetting their routine. And tham staying home from school was completely out of the question. They need MORE classtime, not less. So I called the EX husband, who came and picked them up, and dropped them at his mother's house, to make sure they were taken care of, and deposited at school on time. (The Ex had to work by 6:00 AM that morning.) I have to go on record as saying God Bless Grandmothers! It may, or may not take a village to raise a child (Hillary Clinton's motto) but grandmothers, no one can replace them in their grandchildrens lives.

So it was off to the emergency room we went! Where the spasms seem to hit in even more frequency! This may sound bad, but when I hurt that bad, with tears streaming down my face, those are private moments. That I don't like ANYONE seeing me like that. But at 1:00 AM in the morning, with approximately 30 other fellow hurting patients, all sitting around waiting for their turn, I had no choice. My dignity was lost, period. Along with a box of kleenex, which I was constantly wiping away (what I hoped was) hidden tears. Well the gal upfront said I was lucky, my wait time should be no more then 2 hours! Lucky meeee!

I finally made it into my semi-private room. (semi-private= curtains between two beds) Where for the next hour I was stuck waiting for the doc, writhing and groaning in pain for the entertainment of my room mate. I was ready to just walk out, when he walked in. Where he did a basic, shallow exam. And came to the conclusion, that yes, you're in pain. Doctors are a brilliant lot. But he became my hero in 5 minutes flat. When in walked his nurse with a shot of morphine & phenergan. And a lovely little pink valuim pill. 15 minutes later, I was asleep. Deeply. On what we all know are the most uncomfortable beds in the United States. Oh how heavenly it was!

After no more then one half hour, they were back in waking me up to LEAVE. I didn't WANT to wake up, let alone LEAVE? It seems hospital policies are much more efficient at getting you outta there, then getting you in there. But they sent me out armed with pain med. prescriptions anyway. Which we filled on our way home at 7:30 AM. Yes, how many hours was that? 6 and one half? There has got to be a better way!

That day, once Mr.Morphine wore off, I popped a couple of vicoden, to mask the pain. Which it didn't touch the pain, even slightly. So I popped a valuim, hoping that by calming myself down, the pain would let up. No chance. So I kept my appt. w/my regular doctor at 3:00PM He somewhat examined my back, then sent me away with a script of percocet, thinking that would do the trick. That and flexeril (muscle relaxer) What it afforded me was 3 hours of sleep that night, and then the rest spent pacing the floor again. He sent me for an X-ray that showed nothing out of the ordinary. So back I went yesterday! This time, more aggressive, bitchey, and the tears flowed freely. So, to make this overly long, tedious story shorter, The MRI is scheduled for Tuesday morning at 7:00 AM. The new set of drugs sent home to me, were much better at controlling the pain. MS Contin 15mg (morphine) and a steroid 6 day pack. I told my husband that I hope the steroids didn't make me grow a dick. His comment was somthing along the lines that it would match my proverbial balls, which he says are bigger then most of the guys he knows.

Which brings me to the present. Day two of steroid therapy, and I see a big improvement. Only two spasms, all morning. Now about the morphine, the morphine is legitimately my excuse for this rambling, over-detailed, tedious post with the bad grammar and sentence structure. I believe most of my posts are up to snuff, for my liking. This one, is just to keep up some consistency in posting. If this one too, doesn't end up in cyber-space. At which point, I won't post again for a while. Until my temper and afflictions both calm down.

So now I am off to have mother/daughter times with Tayler. (Which won't be of the highest quality due to my afflictions.) The choice today? We are going to watch Catwoman together. A film that I have heard has been put in the worst movie category by many. But Tayler likes it, so Catwoman it will be! (And maybe a percocet to help me completely zone out on it...)



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