Stumbling thru life w/Grace

Friday, March 25, 2005

My Husbands Tribute to his Father

I wanted to post my husband words, and thoughts about his dad. It ultimately was his loss, and pain, that Chet's passing has caused. My role, is and has been to be there for him, to listen when he wants to talk, to hug him when he needs comfort. I hope I am doing a decent job of it. But I cannot take away his grief.

My groom has always written me an e-mail, everyday that he works, since we started dating 4 years ago. (I am amazed at this, and love and cherish each and everyone of his words) A lot of the letters usually have to do with, whatever we may be dealing with at the time, or an upcoming Holiday, or guests coming to stay. So it made perfect sense to me, that he would chose his letter to me, to honor the memory of his father.

I am posting his letter that he sent to me. To keep it safe, and viewed here on a site that I spend a good deal of my time.

Subject :
in his honor

I'm sitting at the dining room table, where I have been nearly 90 minutes,
wrestling with Excel sheets and thinking about my dad. It's funny, when I
was an altar boy and served mass at funerals, I would always gaze at the
coffin and think about my parents with dread as I prayed that I would never
see them in that box, at least not before I either was called to God or
maybe got older.
God heard me, I know, and gave me and them the gift of a long life. It
wasn't an easy one, but I guess God decided what they could bear and they
bore everything he threw at them with grace and strength and unshaken
faith. And so today is the official day that we will say goodbye to Chet,
gone but not forgotten.
I thought of all that he was as a man and marveled over God's creation,
God's sense of humor, the utter complexity with which he created man and
this man in particular.
I know that my sibs will be crying and acting like he was actually alive in
that box in a way, but I do hope they draw a lot of comfort and joy in
knowing he had been around for a long time and had given what he could to
all of us.
So as I write this to you, thinking of him, I will pray for this:
That I never be as cranky or bitter as he was at most times, but that I am
as hard working and loyal a husband as he also was.
That I never turn my attention so completely to the distractions of TV as
he often did, but that I be as attentive to my wife as he was in my mom's
later years.
That I not shout with anger at the injustices of life, but instead use the
talents he helped me develop through his support and discipline to do my
best to undo some of those injustices.
That I not weep for joy only at Christmas time as he did when all his
family was around, but instead marvel a nd even weep with joy every single
day when I think of all God has given me, especially the gift he gave me in
That I not develop a sour attitude toward life because of the many
challenges he bore with shoulders straight and instead think of his
strength and his will to survive when God throws a curve ball at me.
That I, like him and my mom, never again forget my faith or store it on a
shelf and instead try to practice His Word during every waking moment.
That I always remember that he loved me and toiled endlessly as a young and
middle aged man to keep his family out of harm's way and that I do the same
with you and the kids.
And finally, I hope that as he joins my mom in eternity that he can look at
me, warts and all, and take pride in what he helped raise and draw comfort
in the fact that I have finally found, as he did in my mom, a woman to whom
I am bound for life--and whatever comes after that.
I love you, my bride
with all my heart.

What a man I married! I am amazed at my good fortune in finding him. And in God's amazing grace, at giving me happiness in this man I married. I have made tons of mistake over the years, I am not a model Christian, that religous churches would point at in pride. But He blessed me anyway.

This Holy of Holidays, I will take the time out to thank my Christ for all He did when He went to the cross to cover my sins! (And damn but there are a lot of them!) I will thank Him for bringing this most wonderful of men to head up my household, to love and help care for my, I mean OUR children. I pray God always gives me the strength to be the kind of wife this man deserves. This day that we call Easter, is the basis of Christianity. Without it, there would be no Christianity. He had to rise out of death to make it so. His message in life; To love one another. Christ's message is simple, He made it that children would understand it. It is men, who took His message, and made it their own tiny little government and empire. Man wrapped Christ's teachings and life up in technicalities, stipulations, and hoops to jump thru.

This Easter, I won't be attendng church. The Churches will be filled with honest people who love and honor their Christ. I might be dead wrong, but I cannot get past man turning His beautiful message, in what we know today as The Christian Church here in the United States.

If the Chrisitan Church brings Christ's believers true joy, and the love that He taught, it serves the purpose that it should. For myself, I pray to my God daily, I thank Him for His blessings often, and I try to show the love that Christ put into my heart, the day I consciously took Him as my Lord. I fail often, which is the reason that I need a Saviour. That we all need a Saviour.

Whatever your doing this holiest of holy Holidays, I wish you His peace, love and comfort in your lives. I pray that we all take a moment, to meditate on what He did when He willingly went to the cross for our sins. And rose from the grave 3 days later.

I wish everyone a happy and Blessed Easter.


  • that was a moving message about your husband and about Easter.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:38 PM  

  • I sit here trying to finish, unable to read clearly through the tears I find trailing down my face.
    What a touching sentiment to two men loved, and passed, and cherishing what each has taught and will continue to teach to those whom choose to listen.
    You are truly blessed, as He has blessed myself and my children.
    God Bless you all, and I pray that the grief will pass in time for your husband. I am sure that you are wonderful comfort and support, for, you love him so.
    Have a wonderful weekend and thank you for the moving post.

    By Blogger Jade, at 2:24 PM  

  • are both truly blessed, may you both have long and happy lives.
    God Bless

    By Blogger Sugar, at 2:18 AM  

  • What a wonderful tribute to his father and what a wonderful message in there for you and the lives you share. God bless you all! I stumbled my way here to this site a couple days ago via some other blogs and I'm so happy I did.

    By Blogger Lillie, at 4:22 PM  

  • What a solid concept of faith and family your husband has; a rarity this day in age, and a good thing if you can find it.

    By Blogger Jay, at 4:31 PM  

  • That's an incredible letter. My condolances for your and his loss. As you said, I've never seen anything so kind or well thought out.

    And as to not going to Church, if God is so good to everyone, why would he require people to attend church? The best way you can worship him is by being happy and living your life to the fullest.

    As you said, it really is a shame that people like Bush are using Christianity in the name of bigotry and intolerance. Hopefully, someday, people will finally see the true message He would want passed on.

    Games are for Children

    By Blogger Steve, at 9:07 PM  

  • Jade~
    Thank you for commenting. I know I am blessed, to have my husband in my life. And I see a similarity for you as well, with the blessing of your new marraige. And thank you for your condolences, which I passed on to my husband.

    Evie & Lillie~

    Thank you for your good wishes, and for taking the time to comment. I always appreciate hearing from fellow bloggers, for their comments, and it gives me a chance to check out new blogs, with the trail from the comment section!

    I'm always honored to hear from you! Your talent at writing, and making all your posts engaging, makes coming to your site a special treat! Thank you for the compliment on the hubby, I passed yours on to him.


    Thanks for commenting, AND for coming over and checking out my site. Yours is one of my favorites, as I am sure you know by now. I love all the relationship articles you add for your reders to check out! And your peception on them as well.


    By Blogger 3rd Times a Charm, at 1:07 AM  

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