Stumbling thru life w/Grace

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The New & Improved Stumbling / Grace

The famous and wonderful Rachel from Web Divas is finishing up my new blog home today! I would love all of my new blogger friends to come over to my new home, and check it out! (My blog housewarming!) I know, CORNY, but I'm excited to have a design that has the feel of me.

So please follow me over there! And if I have missed anyone of you on my blogroll list PLEASE point it out for me, and I will add you. Starting from scratch, it is easy to miss someone. And learning how to naviagate thru a new site, for someone who is as computer illiterate as I am takes time. I have been playing around and checking things out off and on all day!

I have also missed reading a lot of my daily reads due to having to learn a few things! Altough I plan on catching up tomorrow. So, without further ado!!!

http://stumblingthroughlifewithgrace.com/index.php

Coming soon on my new site will be Jaded Sunburns http://azjade.com/ blog review! I should have it posted by Saturday. My hubby and I leave for vacation Sunday morning for a week, and although I'm excited to get away alone with him, a week away from my new site and computer!!?? I'm scared! I think the withdrawals are going to be severe. It's going to take a lot for him to keep my mind off of blogging. I hope he's up for the task!;-)

Monday, April 25, 2005

If I could be: MEME TIME AGAIN!!!!

I have been officially tagged for this little meme! But at least this one isn't the bestest of the bestest longest meme out there!;-) I was tagged by Jade at Jaded Sunburns http://azjade.com/
Although it would be one of the best of the bestest, and deserves an "A" for originality.

Here's what I copied from Jade's site, and my answers are below it. As well as the three people I plan on tagging!!! Who's the lucky bloggers???? hehehehe And if I tag you, you have to play! Or else you'll make me cry! ;-)




I’ve been officially tagged! This little meme comes to you from Diane over at Ya Know?
The idea is to pick 5 and complete the sentances, then pass this little meme on to 3 more of your blog pals!
If I could be a scientist…If I could be a farmer…If I could be a musician…If I could be a doctor…If I could be a painter…If I could be a gardener…If I could be a missionary…If I could be a chef…If I could be an architect…If I could be a linguist…If I could be a psychologist…If I could be a librarian…If I could be an athlete…If I could be a lawyer…If I could be an inn-keeper…If I could be a professor…If I could be a writer…If I could be a llama-rider…If I could be a bonnie pirate…If I could be an astronaut…If I could be a world famous blogger…If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…If I could be married to any current famous political figure…
Here are my answers!

If I could be a lawyer : I would do 20% pro bono work helping battered women obtain their Protection orders and divorces. For free unless I could nail the bastard for HER lawyer fees!

If I could be a musician : I would make beautiful music, until I either died of AIDS or Hep. C. due to all the gorgeous people throwing themselves at me, and offerring me drugs. (Eh. Maybe not, maybe I would overcome the temptations... LOL)

If I could be a writer : All would be well with my world. I would like what I was doing, and take great joy outta seeing a part of me preserved in book form. And of course 10% of all book proceeds would go to legal defense of battered women seeking to rid themsleves of an abusive husband. Or a battered man, seeking the same. (I know it happens)

If I could be an Athlete : I would choose tennis as my sport. And be a celebrity advocate and spokeswoman for Domestic Violence shelters.

If I could be a psychologist : Physician heal thyself! ah, just kidding! Sort of. At any rate, again I would try and reach battered women, working a day a week, counseling those that came to my local shelter.

That was completely painless, and FUN. F U N FUN! So now, it is my turn to tag three people! This is going to be a little more difficult then filling out the meme! I have to take into consideration WHO would actually acknowledge me, and not ignore my request like a fly around a pile of shit. Then again, also having to consider that some of my readers don't visit everyday, and may not see it....hmmmm

OK, don't scream at me Priss! ;-) But I choose http://www.prissed.com/
And let's see, how bout Sassy! http://www.sassybrat.net/
And my good buddy Rich! http://www.crackheadlogic.com/

I woulda choose DB http://dbrooks.bfpmedia.com/ at Corporate Crap and Other Dubious Wisdom, but I figured the beautiful Bitchatude http://btude.bfpmedia.com who was tagged right along with me, would tag her (SO) significant and very handsome other. ;-) So if she doesn't tag him it's up to one of you three!

Now Sassy, Rich, and Priss PLEASE play, so as not to publicly humiliate me, by not playing???

Ranting & Raging!

I want to scream obscenities! Why and who? The X-husband! I'm about to blow my so called "fairy tale, we're still friends divorce" right outta the water!!! I'm so pissed off I can't see straight! The X's right-wing holier than thou, arragant, condescending attitude will eventually cost him! And soon!

I let things slide. Little comments, that can be taken two ways. I try and work with him on raising my kids as healthily as possible. I don't keep strict to the divorce decree! I give him room to be a dad somewhat during my week with the kids. Usually letting him have a few hours with them on his days off that fall midweek.

But I cannot stand it when he comes across like some smug know it all perfect parent! The man is an emotional cripple! And in my opinion is working as hard as he can to turn his kids into exactly that!!

It took some smug comment for the blinders to lift, and for me to see a few things that I can no longer ignore in the name of keeping the peace! For the record, there is no such thing as a good divorce. If things were so peachy, there never would have been a divorce in the first place!

This man brings new meaning to the word martyr. And as far as making any valid point with him, forget it. It's like trying to grab a great big wad of snot in your hand. It's gonna slide right out between your fingers! I get so frustrated in having to deal with him!

To the X:
You believe you have all the answers! You're going to turn our kids into mealy mouthed martyrs, who need to be coddled or they will fall apart. You scoff at the school system, and let our kids know you feel this way! You undermine what I try to teach my kids, in order that they may function in society. You would prefer they remain dependant on you, so you can continue to be a self sacrificing martyr to the world. The only problem, nobody cares!!!! Nobody's watching, you idiot! You're going to inevitably scar your kids for an agenda you have, that you don't even consciously recognize!

I'm pulling in the reins on you! You will succumb to a few areas regarding OUR children, or you may see your kids ONLY on your week with them! Riley WILL remain in the 3rd grade if the teacher and the principal feels it is in HIS best interest! I suggest you shut the fuck up! when it comes to how you feel about the public school system!!! THEY are the powers that be, regarding your childrens education!!! Fighting them, ignoring their requests for help in getting him to act responsible and do what is requested is only going to hurt RILEY!!!

Our son, to my face with obstinate chin lifted said, "My dad says I don't have to stay in 3rd grade, period!" A reminder Mr. X! I am the custodial parent as set forth by the divorce decree! I also have ultimate and full control over ANY and ALL education decisions!! Check your decree ASSHOLE!

My new husband and I have fought all year to work at, and prod Riley into being a responsible, respectful student!! And you with your arrogant condescending attitudes have done your best to UN-DO THIS! Right now, I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire!!!

Your sense of self worth, far outweighs the realities. And your self-destructive martyr syndrome, coupled with your need to be needed at all costs will cost. It will cost with our kids. You fucking idiot, it cost you our marragie! I garauntee I will not let it interfere with my new marraige! And I will do my best to keep you from taking our kids down with you!

They have to be able to function in THIS world. You may keep YOUR head in the clouds, because you have your eduaction, and your job. These kids NEED to succeed as much as they can NOW! Not "down the road" when you think it counts!

Learning responisbility and discipline is our job as parents. And you Mr. X have failed miserably in this department!! NOW is when they learn it!!! NOT when they start High School!

You spent our whole marraige always making me out as the "bad guy". Whether it be with relatives all around us, or with my son, that I allowed you to adopt. He was dutiful to you during the divorce. He knows which side his bread is buttered on. You have made our children your best friends, no wait, your ONLY friends! And neglected your responisbilities of parent. Once again making me the bad guy. Someone has to parent these kids! They have friends at school jack-ass! That is not supposed to be your position until they are well adjusted self supporting adults!!!!

I will take the reins on this, because I see it as the job God entrusted me with. But my resentment and anger towards you, continues to grow. And just to try and hurt you!! Let me say this; I have not for ONE iota of a minute EVER regretted divorcing YOU!!! You are a suffocating force with your co-dependancy!!!

Sitting on MY patio listening to you tell Rox about counseling and it's benefits when for years you refused to go!!! You refused to go before the divorce! You refused to go after the divorce, and then you sit there recommending it??? I wanted to vomit and laugh at the same time! You sir, are a hypocrite in the biggest possible ways!



Now that I'm releasing my anger, how do I handle having to approach him, with the changes that need to be made? I will never come out and say what I have vented here. I'm not out to hurt my kids any further then they are. But I cannot let things conitinue, at the rate that Riley is going he'll be a juvenile deliquent by the time he is 13.

I hate confrontation and that SOB knows it! I am now pushed to the point where I cannot let things slide. Tomorrow's appt. with the principal and Riley's teacher, should tell me more. The fact they made a point out of saying that I need not include the X in this speaks volumes. As does the fact that his teacher suggested I take the X back to court and get full custody, since he refuses to be a parent. As is already well documented in Riley's school records. (Best friend, yes. Parent, no)

I hate having to deal with him. His smug arrogance makes me want to bitch slap him and kick his sorry ass outta my house! Somtimes I wonder at myself, #1 for marrying him. and #2. For procreating with him. I chalk it up to a need for couseling (intensive counseling) after marraige #1. Because surely if I'd been in my right mind, I wouldn't have made such a grievous error as marrying him.

I probably need to pray that God gives me the right words, that actually sinks into his dim brain, without turning this into a major blowout! But I cannot ignore things any further. Riley needs to be reined in before he complelely flunks out of grade school. And the asshole's influence needs to be diminished, as far as during my week with the kids.

And to think I had such a wonderful week-end with my husband. The afterglow has certainly worn off, and reality sets in. I am counting down until Sunday. When Kevin and I leave for Laughlin NV for a relaxing week! This is just far too much reality to have to deal with, the week before vacation. And on the heels of marital bliss!
That fucktard!

Friday, April 22, 2005

Part of my Family & my Friend.

My girlfriend, Kathy that I have written about last month, passed away this morning. I don't remember her exact age, although I remember her Birthday, she was somewhere between 45 and 48. She had a battle with cervical cancer the lasted for 4 years total. And gave up the battle this morning, after a brief conversation with her sister.

She struggled to walk to the bathroom stopping often to catch her breath, and turn her oxygen tank up as high as she could get it. By the time she struggled back to her bed, she was exausted. Exausted from the pain, and the lack of oxygen. She turned to her sister, and said, "Lena, I want to die." Lena said, "You can do that Kathy." Kathy's response:" I don't know how." Lena held her hand, and told Kathy to close her eyes, and not to worry about that part. God would take care of that for her. Trust him to handle it. Kathy closed her eyes, and peacefully passed away 10 minutes later.

This woman was truly an inspiration to all who loved her. I realize we often say this, about loved ones who pass on. In this case it was far more then true. Kathy had a devotion to her husband and children, not born just from a sense of responsiblity, and what was right. She enjoyed doing so, embraced it with a joy and fun loving spirit, that each task she tackled in life was fun, because it was part of living.

Three months prior to her death, she was carrying bags of cement to work on a home improvement project. Went to scrub down the boat that she and her husband loved going out on, spending time with their kids on the water. She served as the Secretary to the yacht club they belonged to. She sat in her wheelchair, directing a group of relatives that had come over to do her flower planting this early spring. Her garden always brought her great joy, and she spent much time every year, planting and cultivating a wide variety of flowers that she always took joy in.

While she continued to "live life" she would also go into the hospital every 6 weeks to have the fluid drained off of her lungs. She had lymphnodes removed. Chemotherapy was a regular part of her life the last year. As she was having it done regularly, on a maintenance basis. Just to hold the cancer at bay. She dealt with pain on a daily basis, and did so with more grace then I would have thought humanly possible.

And thru it all, she continued to live. With great spirit she tackled anything she wanted to try and do. Last month, she packed up her kids and her husband, because she wanted the family to go to Hawaii together. They went. And the rest of the family prayed for her, each and everyday, that God would grant her this one last vacation, to enjoy her kids and her husband. She went into heart failure the last day of their vacation and had to be flown back to the mainland immediately. But she got her vacation.

Three months ago, she had wanted to jet ski. My cousin bought her a jet ski, and she went out on it as many times as she could. She LIVED life, actively, happily, and with spirit. And clung to every possible means of staying alive. I don't believe much of it was born out of fear. Just out of a great love for living, and being with her kids and her husband. She had wanted to live long enough, to watch her 18 yr old son, graduate from high School in June. It wasn' t going to be.

As my family says goodbye to such a wonderful, love and spirit filled woman, we each have gone over our special and privately owned memories of her. We have cried off and on all day. It's hard, and sad to say goodbye to a loved one. There's somthing harder when this person is young with so much to offer and who gives freely of herself.

What breaks my heart, and had me angry for a little while today, was thinking of my cousin, and his great love for his wife. Thinking of their kids, losing mom, long before we think we will deal with this. Her daughter has one more year of H.S. her son, on the brink of grauduation. Her husband distraught, after spending all of his adult years with this devoted woman.

They will have to go thru the grieving process, with all of it's rough and emotionally draining stages. They will now have to work out life in its day to day, painfully aware of the gaping hole in it, created by her death. Missing the simplest of exchanges, the subtlest of touches.

I have my private memories of lunches together, gossiping and catching up on the different branches of our family. Conspiratorially sharing a glass of wine together minutes before noon, giggling at our "wickedness." These memories are now mine. To keep alive in my heart and my mind, when I think of Kathy.

And now whats left, is the prayers going up for a family that has lost their wife and their mom. I lift my prayers for Jim, and the kids. That God will blanket them in comfort and in peace. And an assurance that they will one day be reunited.

PRAYER:

Dear Lord, Help us to lift our hearts and minds above despair and doubt, thru prayer. Thank you for Your gift of life. And the love that surrounds us, in the families that you gave us.
Amen.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Corporate Crap & Other Dubious Wisdom Review

Let me start by saying, I was intimidated on several different levels, doing this review. First, by the title of D. Brooks http://dbrooks.bfpmedia.com/ weblog. Corporate Crap & Dubious Wisdom brings to mind business articles, and wisdom suggests exactly what I did think. Here is an intellegent goodlooking man, who had spent decades in the business world, and was about to impart his wisdom to those reading his blog. And I wouldn't understand it, or get it, or would find it dry and statistical. Which brings us back to I wouldn't get it, so how would I review it?

And I was wrong on these assumptions. DB's Corporate Crap & other Dubious Wisdom is well written, interesting, and entertaining on as many different levels as I had been intimidated on. He imparts his wisdom on employment and economical matters that are comprehendable to the layman. Using examples, to illustrate his points. One post I enjoyed reading was Exiled at 50, where he gave financial advice that is not only useful to the baby boomer generation but to everyone. And encouraged all his readers to think about the issues facing workers today, compared to generations past.

DB's categories for his posts are Corporate, Humor, Friends, Dubious Wisdom, Crappola and Bullying. And the topics of his posts have a wide range, from the workplace, to how to answer the tough questions women pose to their men. This was funny, and maybe a little eye openeing as a woman who has asked, "Does this make my butt look too big?"

One of the qualities that stands out about his writing, is his ability to keep his posts down to earth, humorous on ocassion, informative and polished. DB acknowledges his commenters, and communicates a warm politeness in his responses.

On a personal note, he lives in Hawaii, and has gone back to college to pursue his advanced degree and "inflict all that hard earned wisdom on the youth of America." (His words) ;-)

One of the fun aspects of DB's weblog http://dbrooks.bfpmedia.com/ is his interaction with the beautiful Bitchatude http://btude.bfpmedia.com/ his significant other, who also keeps a fun and informative weblog. Besides being a striking intellegent couple, they both exude a warmth and a sense of fun that draws others to them.

DB is also one of the few men involved in the Malicious Bitch Club or MBC http://www.maliciousbitch.com/ as president of the club. I've been to MBC a few times, but not enough to be famalier with what they are all about. I do plan on looking in there further though.

In conclusion, I would highly recommend DB's Corporate Crap & other Dubious Wisdom http://dbrooks.bfpmedia.com/ to everyone. He's informative without being dry, entertaining with style, and interactive with his readers/commenters, which always wins points in my book!

And he completed the best of the bestest of Meme's, which makes him open, and willing to just play! Thank you DB for allowing me to review your blog.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Ending Season & Week-end Recaps.

Our hot AZ days are coming quickly! My kids christened the pool sunday all day. Although I think they are more then a month premature. (It feels like a great big giant glass of ice water, that is full of ice cubes.) Although it looks inviting and beautiful, it would chill me to the bone. They had a great time playing in it. We bar-b-qued and had my son and his girlfriend over too.

Saturday night, the X babysat a few hours for me, as we had to go to the Child Crisis Center benefit at Gainey Ranch Resort in Scottsdale. Their theme (as I think it is every year) is A Night in the Tropics. Dress is accordingly.

I didn't really feel up to the whole routine of make-up, hair, and dressing up. But I'm glad I went. It is for a wonderful cause, and I enjoy the people watching. They usually have a silent auction, for which I warned the hubby and prepared myself. The Tempe Governors Ball silent auction cost us a small fortune, when he went a little crazy bidding, and yes I did my share on a couple of items.

We were both good. When we would come upon jewelry, and he'd ask if I liked it, my reply was always NO. That wasn't easy for me, but necessary. He bid ONCE on one item, a two night stay at one of the resorts with a champagne breakfast. As far as I know, we were outbid, and didn't win. This IS a good thing.

They also have raffle ticket purchases, usually for trips, or jewelry. We usually pick up a few of those, although have never won anything. (But that's tax deductable!;-) The dinner at this event, in my opinion is/was sub par, but then again we are talking about charity. The interesting thing about dining this year, was that we were seated, at the channel 12 table. I don't watch channel 12 news, but had seen the commercials, so I at least knew who Lin Sue Cooney and Mark Curtis were, when they introduced themselves to us.

When we sat down, I was comfortable, and admittedly slightly bored. I remember looking around the table, and thinking how all the woman at our table were so pretty and their make-up perfect. (I know, shallow thought, but hey, we all have them from time to time) This was before finding out that we were at channel 12's table. Then it made perfect sense. I wanna be on TV! So I can have perfect make-up! That was the interesting part of the evening. With my neck in the shape it was in, we couldn't dance, so we did end up cutting it short.

I won't talk about the conversations I eavesdropped on, as much as I would like to. I don't want to invade these (semi?) celebrities' privacy. Overall they all seemed like very nice people. Even if sitting in their presence made me feel nervous, and like I didn't belong there. I think I introduced myself (mumbling nervously) as "Kevin's wife, Tamber". I know, not exactly a woman of the milleneum, more like of the 50's. Eh. I can live with it.

Lat week-end we went to a party JUST for the parties sake, and to be with good friends! And we both had a blast! Shelly, one of "my homegirls" and her significant other, thru a costume 1800's, western, murder mystery dinner party.

And the costumes were great! We each had a role to play, that we had gotten with the invitation, and there were 5 scenes, that we would read as we went. When everyone talked, it was in character. After a few champagnes, it was even funnier! Neither I, nor Kevin ended up being the murderer. That ended up being Shelly, the madam of the local whore house.

My role was Helena Handcart. (Hell in a handcart, hehehehe) The matriarch of the handcart Cattle ranch. Who had just buried my 13 sons, who were killed in a shootout. Kevin was Elias Truist Heath (or He lieth thru his teeth) The up-and-coming heartthrob gunfighter. We all got into our roles, and had a great time! I got a few pics. I'll post eventually, whenever I get my shit together, and get them to Rachel.

It was a lot of fun, and I thank Shelly and Will for inviting us! You can buy these murder mystery theme dinner party games at the different game stores you see in malls. I think they are called Game Daze, or somthing like that. My next dinner party I would like to do one of those. I'm looking at either the Rockstar one or the Roaring 20's. Both sound like they would be fun! And can be ordered at http://howtohost.fanhq.com which is part of www.decipher.com

I love playing dress-up. Halloween is an honored tradition in our home. Even for myself and the hubby. Who has LEARNED to enjoy dressing up. (He doesn't have a choice) LOL Costumes are adults way to be kids again, and I'm never giving it up! This last years Halloween party, my costume won! And yes I was very proud, and happy over it! I went as the maid from Rocky Horror Picture Show, and pulled it off to a tee, if I do say so myself. (I should have, I spent hours on the make-up and assembling the costume.)

This Wednesday we are going to the opening of the new Mesa Arts Center. (champagne! my favorite!) But as the hot weather sets in, the different charity events, openings and happenings will come to an end for another season. I love going to them as I see it as another opportunity to play dress-up. And the charity events, are always for good causes. (ie; hospitals, shelters, child crisis centers, etc.)

But as the snowbirds head home, the waits for resturaunt seatings go down. The time spent on the roads, on freeways also goes down. And the pool opens for use. And I'm looking forward to a nice even tan. (skin cancer be damned) My motto; everything in moderation. Including laying out for that sun kissed look. ;-)

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Completed Meme's and Narcotic Ramblings

I have a list of four more, who have completed the best of the bestest Meme's! (So dubbed by Bitchatude http://btude.bfpmedia.com/ ) You can go to http://www.sassybrat.net/ Sassy's blog to see it completed. As well as Jade at Jaded Sunburns http://azjade.com/ and Hannahs Vow (r.h.s.) at http://www.hannahsvow.com/ and DB at http://dbrooks.bfpmedia.com/
I will be completing blog reviews of these four in the next two weeks!

I won't be able to before then, thanks to a little procedure I had done on my neck yesterday,called Denervation, which will cut off the nerve endings and give me relief to my pain. So it's a good thing! But I have to get thru the recupe period which is more painful then the orginal pain, for a few weeks.

NARCOTIC RAMBLINGS
(warning) This probably won't make a helluva lot of sense. I am allowing myself a post of philosophcial rambling, and narcotic driven thoughts. Knowing full well, that I will probably cringe, the next time I read this.


I always imagined getting old or getting older would be a graceful, peaceful phase. I now believe this to be bullshit! Getting old, or older is not for the weak. Usually there is a portion of getting older that deals with pay up time. Paying for the sins of our youth, in the form of our bodies breaking down here and there. In my case, that happens to be my neck.

Headbangers beware! You will pay for your complete lack of control at concerts. Headbanging is constant whiplash! YOU WILL PAY FOR IT. So as not to incrimate myself too much, that is all I'm saying on this subject.

We pay for our choices. In my case, it would be my first choice in husbands. A magnetic very handsome and charming man. Going out to party in the 80's usually mean't I would lose my "husband" (and I use this term loosely) to the stage. Where he would play harmonica riffs that scalded the harmonica. His hero was Paul Butterfield, who Kevin #1 aspired to play like. People loved him, he was outgoing, witty,charming, talented, and a binge drinker, who once was behind closed doors enjoyed beating the shit outta the woman in his life. In my case, that was two years worth of playing human punching bag. But he was always sorry! *rolling the eyes* With the morning stiffness that sets in every morning, I'm reminded of this poor choice in husbands. I do cut myself some slack on this choice. I was only nineteen, this mistake was/is blamed on my youth. But the aftereffects live on in my neck and back.

Enter late 80's, and a short stint of fascination with a certain illegal substance, mixed with vodka screwdrivers. You could dance all night! And I did. Six nights a week. Usually where ever my married boyfriend (the drummer) was playing. I learned the Portland/Vancouver area, by learning the various bars/nightclubs locations. More headbanging, and drunken rowdy drummer sex. No real sleep, I did work for a living, managing a maternity clothing store by day. My inablilty to function now with anything less then 6 and half hours sleep, always reminds me of these times where I slept usually less then 4 hours per night. And wonder at the mystery of how the hell I got home in one peice, and w/o incurring any DUI's. (That I chalk up to wearing out and retiring at least 3 guardian angels from God) Boy do I owe Him big time!

We pay for the sins of our youth. Or, what goes around comes around. One way or another. I don't look at any medical/neck problems and think of myself as a victim. I sigh, think just how lucky I am that I'm paying in what I would have to consider as small ways. We have a forgiving God, I believe this. But he cannot protect us from ourselves. And the choices we make, have consequences.

So here I am trying to function, and be there for three beautiful children, and a husband worthy of the best of the bestest of wives. And what they are receiving from me, is less then they deserve. The real kicker, the way each of them looks at me with love in their eyes, attending to MY needs, brought on by the sins of my youth.

Damn I'm lucky. I feel very fortunate, when I think back to my reckless behavior. At a time, where the last thought in my head was consequences. I look around at the many blessings in my life. A wonderful family, even an X husband, who would have every right to hate me until the day he or I died. But we're friends. And we work together to raise these kids.

There really is Grace, in turning your life and your family over to a loving God. There are consequences to our actions, as I pop another percocet, and 600 mg of ibuporfen to get thru another day of kids, meals and laundry. And I thank God that this is the only price (at the moment) that I'm paying, for the sins of my youth.

I take comfort and joy in our daily routines. I try and protect the boundaries of our home and family. To make this a place of refuge from work/school/mean people, for my husband and children. And always keeping in mind, how lucky I am to be in this place, in life.

Prayer:
Lord, please calm us and slow our hurried pace so we may better perform the responsibilities you have set before us. Thank you for watching over us. Amen.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

House of Crap Sucked into the Meme!!! (hehehehe)

Priss from the web log, House of Crap http://www.prissed.com/ was sucked into completing the bestest of the best Meme's, who for me, originated from the magnetic Rachel at Bitchalicious http://www.bitchalicious.com/blog/ Then the beautiful Bitchatude http://btude.bfpmedia.com took the torch (albeit, outta pity for me;-) and completed the Meme. For more generational history, I refer you once again to Bitchalicious at http://www.bitchalicious.com/blog/

One more side note; Bitchatude http://btude.bfpmedia.com then subtly pulled in DB from http://dbrooks.bfpmedia.com/ who's weblog Corporate Crap And Other Dubious Wisdom now displays the bestest of the best Meme's of ALL TIMES, RIGHT NOW. GO SEE! Which means I will be reviewing his blog next.

Priss had displayed the meme with her wise, humorous, and a little snarky answers last night. Right before she damned both myself and Bitchatude http://btude.bfpmedia.com !!! So now I have the pleasure of reviewing, for your reading pleasure The House of Crap, by Priss. http://www.prissed.com/

I started reading the House of Crap in depth this morning. She had already been bookmarked, so I have been visiting her site for the last few weeks. But this morning, I started reading in earnest. And read, and read, and read! I couldn't stop, once I started.

Priss is a web designer, who has designed several eye catching sites! Including one of my favorites Jades Sunburns at http://azjade.com/ You can check out a few of her designs from her page that shows an offer for site design. Click on that and she has a list of sites she has recently completed.

What she has displayed at the top of her page, is this cute cat, perched over a toilet seat. With her name House of Crap, then a sub title, "Because you deserve more than quality...You desrve crap. I, of course spotted the brilliance in this. As I'm sure all her readers have. (Excluding any lurking trolls)

Priss has many different pages for you to check out. I read a few of her categories, and went to those that sounded interesting to me. Of course the first category that caught my eye was one titled Fuck a Doodle Doo. Another one was Kill Me Now. I found Priss' writing to be humorous, sarcastic, snarky, and completly lovable!

Priss rants in her blog about issues that are interesting, and original. She is opinionated, and pulls no punches about things that irritate her. She finds the humor in these situations and delivers it with a good dose of sarcasm. From lousy parenting, that leads to unruly rugrats, and all their irritating qualities, as far as what adults endure in public along side the little aliens. Oops! I mean adorable cherubs. Yes, this was one of my favorites! To punctuation, and grammar.

House of Crap http://www.prissed.com/ has a photo album. Priss has a fairly extensive photo album w/photo's of her and Mr.Priss who also has a blog. And a gorgeous set of photo's done Fashion photo shoot style. She is extremly pretty and pulls it off wonderfully. You'll also find family photo's and events. LOVED the Halloween photo's!

Another page has information on how to work on your site. This would be very informative to readers who need instructions and know how to read them. I say this for one reason, I started reading and she was talking about "relative" somthing or other...and my mind went to relatives; as in family. (My computer and site knowledge is horribly impaired.) I may go check this out one day, when I'm feeling brave, and clear headed. (This wouldn't be on a "kids week" like now, with the 200 interruptions per paragraph that I manage to read.)

And now, for what I considered the most light hearted and fun, are her joke pages. One has different photo jokes, some of which have made the forward e-mail circles. Most I had not seen. One of my personal favorites, was An Extremely Happy Monkey! You'll have to go to her page http://www.prissed.com/ to find out which one it is. She also has a top 10 page. With several top 10 lists, that are sure to make the most humorless person at least chuckle. The humor varies in ratings from "R" to well, PG-13. Anything for a laugh, is my motto. And her site subscribes to that.

Priss writes with a snarky, sarcastic humor that takes a unique person to be able to pull it off. Being able to write in this style, and still come across as warm, and not condescending is rare. Priss succeeds in doing this.

On a side note, if you are easily offended, take written opinions too personally, you may have a problem with Priss. On the upside, she enjoys your visits too! ;-)

I highly recommend visiting Priss at the House of Crap http://www.prissed.com/ She was a bookmarked favorite, but after digging a little deeper into her site, she is now a daily read! (No pressure Priss for daily posts, I still have much more to investigate and left to read.)

I loved reviewing House of Crap by Priss http://www.prissed.com/ ! I think anyone who visits her, will want to link to her site!

Thank you Priss http://www.prissed.com/ for answering the bestest of the best Meme's. And for allowing me to review your site! ;-)

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Bitchatude Answers the Call for Meme!!!

And does it with finesse, humor, style and brains! And her answers are fantastic and show that she is an interesting and fun person. To read a completely engaging blog, that has all of the above, all need to go to
http://btude.bfpmedia.com otherwise known as Bitchatude.

She lives in the gloriously beautiful state of Hawaii. Which is fitting, as she also happens to be beautiful! Bitchatude is open, and honest in her posts. Shares what she is struggling with, and sees the humor in it.

Highly intellegent, she tells us what she is studying in college, and appeals to her readers on various projects she is working on as well. The photo's she takes, and shares on her site, are professional in quality, and are winning awards as well.

Bitchatude at http://btude.bfpmedia.com falls under several categories of what type of blog it is. She is a mother, who talks about her kids and some of the struggles of being mom. Which puts her in the "mom blog" category.

Bitchatude is a student in college, which puts her in the "College blog" category. She shares about her relationship with DB at http://enjoy.bfpmedia.com/ which would appeal to those of us who write about our husbands/boyfriends and relationships. As well as the interesting things they do together.

Bitchatude is involved in the Malicious Bitch Club a.k.a. MBC at http://www.maliciousbitch.com as is DB who is President at Malicious Bitch, one of the lone males on board at MBC. Which I believe makes them a very interesting, and intriguing couple. This also puts Bitchatude in the Shameless Proud Bitch category. When she has a bitch to communicate, she does so with style, and with humor. So then add humorous to one of her categories.

Bitchatude's site http://btude.bfpmedia.com will appeal to a humungous range of readers, regardless of what type of blogs appeal to you.

In conclusion, Bitchatude answered my requests for a meme, which sends most bloggers scattering in other directions. This also makes her compassionate! ;-) Thank you Btude! And by answering the meme, I got to know more interesting, fun things about her! (it really is a good meme)

So go check out http://btude.bfpmedia.com Bitchatude's answers to the meme, and learn more about her. Feel free to answer them on your own blog, let me know, and I'll study your blog, like it was my homework assignment, and send those who read my site over to learn about you!

This meme, for me, came from Bitchalicious'es site http://www.bitchalicious.com/blog/
For more generational information on this meme, go to her site! (Another righteous bitch!;-)

Have a great day! And once again, thank you Bitchatude for answering my pleas;-)

Friday, April 08, 2005

Pimpin' We Will Go (April)

It's time for a list of some of my favorite sites to read. And this months are great!

On a side note, I now know how to make my readers run in the opposite direction from this blog. Post a Meme. LOL Point taken.

In other news, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH BLOGGER!!!??? Last night I lost one of my unusually long windy two hour posts into oblivion!(That was sarcasm btw. They are usually ALL verbose.) With that, I gave up, and went to bed. This morning, I wasn't able to get into the blogger dashboard from that link. In order to get where I'm at now, I had to click on want a blog of your own, and then sneek in a back door. It will be a miracle I think if this manages to post.

Well down to business here. One of my favorite new blogs is Rich at CrackheadLogic http://www.crackheadlogic.com/ His posts deal with some of AZ's current events, his life here in AZ, the computer games that he loves playing, and books he's read. This is not al inclusive by any means. I enjoy regularly reading his posts. And find his anger at the AZ Republic for not reporting the facts, entertaining. Rich is very social, and will usually answer or address comments left with his posts. Rich is married to a VERY talented artist, Deena. Who has a site of her own displaying her artwork. He has a link to her site on his as well. Deena's site is at http://www.Deenaduncan.com/ Go see Rich and say Hello!

Another blog, special to my heart, because he makes me laugh consistently! He also seems like an all around great guy! The monkey always seems to think of things that are halarious. I have hinted to him, he should be a stand-up comedian. Check him out at http://monkeycage.blogspot.com/ His humor could be construed as a little bit PG-13 rated, but most of the humor I like, would be PG-13 and R anyway. You might want to keep your pre-teens outta his site. Although some of it would go right over the heads. One of my faves on his site, is his Grouphugs of the day, with his commentary. You'll laugh, I did.

One of the gals in the blog world, that I love checking out is Dawn the Webmiztris! She has great writing, original topics, done with humor, and that sarcastic edge to it that is so endearing! I would want her as a friend, in the "real world!" Also very pretty, as you'll see when you go to her site! She acknowledges those who comment on her site, bloggers who do this, ALWAYS have my respect, and earns an overall good person rating in my book. You can find Dawn aka; The Webmiztris at Tiny Voices In My Head. http://webmiztris.diaryland.com/ She makes listening to those voices in our head, tres chic!

Those are my special picks of the month!

On another note, one of my favorite picks for March Jaded Sunburns is up for King of the Blogs. I am not sure if today is the last day to vote for her, but I know she deserves it! She has a wonderful site! And the reigning king of the blogs, has been in that slot for two weeks now, I do believe it's Jades turn! So go to http://kingofblogs.mu.nu/archives/074068.php and vote for Jade today! On a side not, you can vote every 3 hours for her! We need to catch her up, and help her take the lead. Go Jade! Also if you didn't check out her site in March, here is her link to check it out today. http://azjade.com/

Hope everyone has a great week-end!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Meme, Taken from Bitchalicious

I took this meme off of Rachel's blog site at www.bitchalicious.com/blog I hope I copied that right. And she took it from someone else. For the generational history that goes back 3 more times, go to Rachel's site, which is also listed at the bottom of this post.

These are fun! easy posts ;-)


What time is it? 11:30 AM

Piercing: Just my ears.

Eye color: Depending on what I wear, blue or green.

Place of birth: Bakersfield, CA

Favorite food: Bruno's pizza, located in Longview WA (ONLY Bruno's)

Ever been to Africa? No

Favorite clothing? at home would be sweats, a.k.a. scrubs. Going into public: summer dresses

Ever been toilet papering? Of course!

Have you ever had a speeding ticket? Not one. They don't give speeding tickets, to granny drivers.

Been in a car accident? Yes. Kevin #1 (also known as husband #1) rear-ended someone, in MY car of course.

Croutons or bacon bits? Both.

Favorite day of the week: Fridays

Favorite restaurant: Anthony's in Olympia WA (Best creme' brulee I have ever had!)

Favorite flower: Roses, ALL colors

Favorite sport to watch: Does hotel room pay-per-view pornography count as a sport?

Favorite drink: Cosmopolitan (champagne a close 2nd) non-alcaholic Cran-apple juice, and coffee of course!

Favorite ice cream: Rocky Road

Disney or Warner Bros? Warner Bros.

Favorite fast food restaurant: Jack in the Box, but only for the breakfast Crouissant Supreme.

what Color is your bedroom carpet? bleh. Ugly brown tones in the hideous 80's pile carpeting.

How many times did you fail your driver’s test? I didn't, passed the first time around.

Before this email, who was the last person you got an email from? My adorable husband.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit cards at? Home Depot

Favorite perfume: I have two faves, Design and Intuition

What do you do most often when you are bored? Serf Blogs of course!

Bedtime? Normally 10:00 PM Lately, more like midnight or 1:00 AM

Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Your guess is as good as mine...

Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Same as above...

Favorite TV show: Oh geeze! I have a few. AI- for the family hour. Nip Tuck- pure trashy delight! Desparate Housewives, thos girls are lovable! And I would have to agree with Rachel, the newest to the list is- House. There's just somthing bout that doc....

Last person you went out to dinner with: My husband, and my g/f from WA Delta.

Favorite Place: My backyard patio. My place of serenity, and beauty. With 8 beautiful rose bushes in view, and the hum of the swimming pool filter.

What are you listening to right now? Gretchen Wilson

What is your favorite color? Oh crap, again more then one fave. Turqoiuse, lavender, and a soft bright blue.

Lake, Ocean or river? Always the Ocean

How many tattoos do you have? I have one large one, high up on my right ass cheek of a blooming red rose.

Time you finished this e-mail? 12:03 PM

Have you ever run out of gas? Never, I always plan for the unexpected.

Scrambled or fried eggs? Poached, and served in Egss Benedict (w/a mimosa too) ;-)

What is the last book you read? It has been a few months.... It would have to be A Round Heeled Woman. The tales of a post menopausal woman, in search of some good sex, via the NY personals. Or was it The 5 people you meet in Heaven. Both were great! Wait, and then there was a sorta documentary called Nickel and Dimed, about a journalist who went under cover, to see if she could survive only on the wages made as one of the "working poor." Very eye opening.
_____________________________

OK, I wanna see someone who reads my site, pick this one up, and answer it. Of all of these running around, I really like this one. Great questions, that give you a little insight into the person who answers it.

Be sure to let me know you've answered it, and I'll post to send others to your site!

Thanks Rachel for e-mailing this one to me! :-)
mailto:rachel@scramsam.comwww.bitchalicious.com/blogwww.bitchalicious.com/blog

This Sucks

Revenue Department spokesman Steve Kniley says, at the end of August somechanges will be made to pep up Powerball sales:"Powerball will now have the largest opening jackpot in American lotteryhistory, at $15 million. And the jackpots will also increase faster.They’ll increase in at least five-million-dollar increments."And, of course, it will also be harder to win the big jackpot. As of lateAugust, two white ball numbers will be added, with players picking fivefrom a pool of 55. The pool of Powerball numbers will not change.The changes will diminish the odds of winning the big jackpot from about 1in 120 million, to about 1 in 417 million.Get headline news all day on Arizona's Home Page, http://www.azcentral.com

OK, maybe the chances of winning to begin with were tantamount to a snowballs chance of survival in Hell. But it is always out there, sitting there, just waiting to be won. By me? Possibly, I've always bought tickets. Ya never know, someone eventually wins. But now, they are going to take our minuscule chances, and it make it almost triple the times harder to win.

This really does interfere with my get rich fantasy. Bastards!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Renaissance Tradition

"Could you make my boobs 3 times their normal size please?" Was the first thing outta of my mouth, when we stepped into the little booth of the caricature artist. His response was, "Absolutely no problem. Art surgery, is my specialty." And my husband and I had a good time sitting there, while he drew our caricature. Even the rugrats, were fairly well behaved. Tayler actually was an angel as usual, Satan's Spawn (aka; Riley) did pretty good, although his quiet critique of the artist's efforts may have irritated our artist.

It has become our tradition to go to the Renaissance Festival http://emol.org/azrenfest/ once a year. This year was our fourth year, and we always have the best time there! There is so much to see and do there, that no two experiences there are ever the same. This year was no exception.

Kevin and I took my two youngest kids Tayler and Riley. We end up usually sort of splitting up, as the entertainment that Riley loves the best, are anything to do with weapons and violence.(and yes that does concern me) And there is plenty of it there! Tayler and I usually wander off to look at the many booths, while Riley goes from the paint guns to the arch bows, to the paint guns, and so on and so on, and so on. (In other words I can't remember the many weaponry games available to him, but there were tons of them!)

Tayler and I decided to have a Renaissance photo taken, and surprisingly enough, it turned out wonderful. The kids did the bungee jumping trampoline 4 times eacc, as well as the rock climb wall. Tayler beat her brother on that, and went all the way to the top. Riley got tired 2/3's of the way up though, and came down, much to Tayler's glee.

I will put our Renaissance photo's on my photo blog, as soon as I get them developed and off to Rachel at Bitchalicious.

Lunch is usually either steak on a stick, turkey legs, and Riley's favorite mac and cheese on a stick. Or as I'm fond of calling it, heart attack on a stick. Mac and cheese is clumped together, breaded and deep fried, for one big ol' pile of grease. Yes, I let him have it. One time a year shouldn't clog his arteries just yet. As he is the youngest and only one of my kids who would consider eating that mess, I cut him slack on Ren Fest day.

We had a wonderful time, and I recommend that anyone who lives in AZ try it at least once. I didn't think I would like it, and allowed Kevin to talk me into it. Since then I am more excited then the kids for this time of year. It is also a wonderful opportunity to bond with the kids and as a family, and yet the parents still have a lot of fun!

If you're ever coming to AZ, I would choose March (middle March) so you can be a part of this wonderful Festival. It made for a great day, and wonderful week-end with the kids!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Blogger Withdrawals!

Taking the kids to the Rennaisance Festival for the day! Beautiful day to do it. We go every year, but it's going to be hard to not get to blog, or peek here and there thru out the day!:-(

Like to take lot's of pics at the Festival, so that will keep me occupied. Wanna have my fortune read too. (Don't necessarily believe any of it, but it's fun)

I'll be back to read my faves, tonight!:-)

Friday, April 01, 2005

Limited Time & Choices

I just want to say, that my zeal for blogging has not waned in the least, contrary to the lack of posts might indicate. During "kids week" my time is far more limited. Because I do not have my children full time it becomes more important to spend MORE time with them, when I do.

Another factor has been my Physical Therapy 3 times a week, and then the endless procedures on my neck. Which I had one this morning, at 7:00 AM. With one more, major one where they wil deaden some nerves in my neck area in two weeks. Besides the practical side of treatment, the pain keeps me from sitting too many hours in a row at the desk.

So then comes the choices, do I read and catch up on all my favorite blogs? Or do I post. Well posting has lost out, more times then not in this area. As I continue to read the many favorites I have, I feel compelled to catch up on them. I feel like I know these people. (Am I losing my sanity feeling this way??? LOL)

Also, part of me is holding my breath, until the great web designer Rachel at Bitchalicious, presents me with my new design. Obsessed over this? Quite possibly. Why? I don't really care.
I'm excited, and I like that.

My Knight in Shining Armour aka; my husband also encourages me, and supports my new hobby. Which just adds more feel good all over feelings to dabbling in blogging. The only problem, is managing my time efficiently, and respoinsibly, so he will continue to exhort me.

On that note, I want to share his latest e-mail (aka; love letter) to me. It touched me deeply. And seeing how I whined on my blog, when we had a lousy week-end, I thought it only right to share the good stuff!

For a little background, he lost his father a week ago. And he is working thru his grief. Very healthily I might add. Remembering the good times, and coming to peace with his father's life, and death.
As well as trying to work thru feelings about a few of his siblings.

Subject :
my salvation


Inbox
Dearest:
I have to tell you something: My sister's chat in some ways greatly
disturbed me, mainly because of what she told me about my two whacked
sisters. I started thinking last night about Marlene, wondering how someone
who once had such a good heart could have veered off into this state of
craziness, rage and hatred. I spent the rest of the time you and I had last
evening fighting off these thoughts. I was partly sorry for her, but far
far more than that was just trying to figure it out. Yes, I guess there
were some major, easily identifiable turning points, Y's in the road that I
can see as clear as day. Yet, what influenced her to take the wrong fork in
that road mystifies and saddens me. Jenny in some ways is a different
story. I think she made her choices so long ago that she probably can't
remember making them.
But that's not the real reason I mention Marlene here. Because the more I
thought of this mystery yesterday and this morning, the more I marveled at
God for bringing you into my life. I thought to myself how I could have
made mistakes after moving to Arizona, because I was on the verge of bad
behavior when you miraculously appeared in my life. It was as if God
stretched a long arm and plucked me from a path of self-destructive
behavior with women, drink, and whatever. A path that would quickly have
led to an empty, meaningless existence where I would have neither
rediscovered my faith nor had much to live for, where maybe I would have
continued to allow myself to be sucked in to the melodrama of my family
just because I thought I was "helping" and that somehow was finding meaning
in my life.
But instead of coming home to an empty house, I come home to you. Instead
of pursuing one woman after another in some stupid, desperate effort to
find my reckless youth or chase aging away, I have a wife to love and
family to invest my energies into. Instead of looking into life's meaning
and finding no answers, I now see God working his wondrous ways in both our
lives.
And so, whether you like to admit it or not, Tamber, you have been my
salvation. And because I recognize that, I cherish everything about you.
It's why I don't care if you don't like housework or making dinner. It's
just not important to me.
What is important is that I be a good, faithful, honest and open husband in
every way to you, and that you know that.
And so I look at today, as I do each day, as another opportunity to show
you that:
I love you, my bride,
with all my heart.

I truly love my husband's writing, and his way of being able to open up and articulate his feelings, and his thoughts. Since it is such a big part of my life, I decided, that when one of his letters evoke great emotions in me, I'm going to post it here, where I can pull them up any time I want to.

The daily grind of day to day life, can easily erode the romance and love that brought two people together. Kevin's letters are always a reminder of that romance and love. It's a few quiet moments for him, while he's writing them, and for me, while I'm reading them, to reflect on our romance. Not just our partnership in the grind of day to day life. I do respond to his letter's as well. But as I am not as talented with words as he is, they are a far cry from his poetic paragraphs. At any rate, here was my inept response.

Your e-mail today, left me speechless. Speechless and humbled. You deserve a wife who turns your home into an orderly haven. Who makes your every meal with the love and tenderness she feels. I feel this, and I want this, but my discipline at times is so lacking (much like my youngest)
I want you to know though, that I do feel all the things for you, that you feel for me. You are my salvation, and the meaning to my life. You are my better half.
And I love you with all my heart and soul my husband!

P - T - Q

Prayer : Dear Lord, please grant us the strength to overcome our weaknesses.. And thank you for helping us meet this day with serenity and calmness. Amen.

Thought : "Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece." -Nadia Boulanger, French music teacher (1887-1979)

Quip : "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." -- Rita Rudner

I hope everyone's week-end is a good one!


<< # Bitch Club ? >>

« ? dry heat! # »