Stumbling thru life w/Grace

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Completed Meme's and Narcotic Ramblings

I have a list of four more, who have completed the best of the bestest Meme's! (So dubbed by Bitchatude http://btude.bfpmedia.com/ ) You can go to http://www.sassybrat.net/ Sassy's blog to see it completed. As well as Jade at Jaded Sunburns http://azjade.com/ and Hannahs Vow (r.h.s.) at http://www.hannahsvow.com/ and DB at http://dbrooks.bfpmedia.com/
I will be completing blog reviews of these four in the next two weeks!

I won't be able to before then, thanks to a little procedure I had done on my neck yesterday,called Denervation, which will cut off the nerve endings and give me relief to my pain. So it's a good thing! But I have to get thru the recupe period which is more painful then the orginal pain, for a few weeks.

NARCOTIC RAMBLINGS
(warning) This probably won't make a helluva lot of sense. I am allowing myself a post of philosophcial rambling, and narcotic driven thoughts. Knowing full well, that I will probably cringe, the next time I read this.


I always imagined getting old or getting older would be a graceful, peaceful phase. I now believe this to be bullshit! Getting old, or older is not for the weak. Usually there is a portion of getting older that deals with pay up time. Paying for the sins of our youth, in the form of our bodies breaking down here and there. In my case, that happens to be my neck.

Headbangers beware! You will pay for your complete lack of control at concerts. Headbanging is constant whiplash! YOU WILL PAY FOR IT. So as not to incrimate myself too much, that is all I'm saying on this subject.

We pay for our choices. In my case, it would be my first choice in husbands. A magnetic very handsome and charming man. Going out to party in the 80's usually mean't I would lose my "husband" (and I use this term loosely) to the stage. Where he would play harmonica riffs that scalded the harmonica. His hero was Paul Butterfield, who Kevin #1 aspired to play like. People loved him, he was outgoing, witty,charming, talented, and a binge drinker, who once was behind closed doors enjoyed beating the shit outta the woman in his life. In my case, that was two years worth of playing human punching bag. But he was always sorry! *rolling the eyes* With the morning stiffness that sets in every morning, I'm reminded of this poor choice in husbands. I do cut myself some slack on this choice. I was only nineteen, this mistake was/is blamed on my youth. But the aftereffects live on in my neck and back.

Enter late 80's, and a short stint of fascination with a certain illegal substance, mixed with vodka screwdrivers. You could dance all night! And I did. Six nights a week. Usually where ever my married boyfriend (the drummer) was playing. I learned the Portland/Vancouver area, by learning the various bars/nightclubs locations. More headbanging, and drunken rowdy drummer sex. No real sleep, I did work for a living, managing a maternity clothing store by day. My inablilty to function now with anything less then 6 and half hours sleep, always reminds me of these times where I slept usually less then 4 hours per night. And wonder at the mystery of how the hell I got home in one peice, and w/o incurring any DUI's. (That I chalk up to wearing out and retiring at least 3 guardian angels from God) Boy do I owe Him big time!

We pay for the sins of our youth. Or, what goes around comes around. One way or another. I don't look at any medical/neck problems and think of myself as a victim. I sigh, think just how lucky I am that I'm paying in what I would have to consider as small ways. We have a forgiving God, I believe this. But he cannot protect us from ourselves. And the choices we make, have consequences.

So here I am trying to function, and be there for three beautiful children, and a husband worthy of the best of the bestest of wives. And what they are receiving from me, is less then they deserve. The real kicker, the way each of them looks at me with love in their eyes, attending to MY needs, brought on by the sins of my youth.

Damn I'm lucky. I feel very fortunate, when I think back to my reckless behavior. At a time, where the last thought in my head was consequences. I look around at the many blessings in my life. A wonderful family, even an X husband, who would have every right to hate me until the day he or I died. But we're friends. And we work together to raise these kids.

There really is Grace, in turning your life and your family over to a loving God. There are consequences to our actions, as I pop another percocet, and 600 mg of ibuporfen to get thru another day of kids, meals and laundry. And I thank God that this is the only price (at the moment) that I'm paying, for the sins of my youth.

I take comfort and joy in our daily routines. I try and protect the boundaries of our home and family. To make this a place of refuge from work/school/mean people, for my husband and children. And always keeping in mind, how lucky I am to be in this place, in life.

Prayer:
Lord, please calm us and slow our hurried pace so we may better perform the responsibilities you have set before us. Thank you for watching over us. Amen.

9 Comments:

  • I think everyone's bound to have creaks somewhere, so good thing you got yours by having some fun instead of doing something...like moving a bed:)

    By Blogger Becky, at 8:05 PM  

  • Ahhh 3T, wise words--narcotic induced or not! We all must live and learn, but there is no learning without life... the intrinsic workings of the ol' catch 22... enjoy what you have! :)

    By Anonymous Bitchitude a.k.a. GlassHoppah, at 1:12 AM  

  • sad but true,I'm paying too. came via BE

    By Anonymous mellowyellow, at 5:55 AM  

  • Hey Becky~
    You have a point. Whether it be headbanging and partying, or bungee jumping, skydiving, jet skiing, or a hard labor job. Our bodies end up rebelling in most cases. It IS these damn narcotics that has me ricocheting between philisophical drivel, and a somewhat euphoria. After 15 drawn out "I love you's to my hubby, he has come to the conclusion, that he likes me on narcotics! (jokingly. I think?lol)

    bitchatude a.k.a. glasshoppah~
    Don't I know it! Life seems to come with a few different catch 22's!;-)

    Mellowyellow~
    I have a feeling MOST of us will pay the price of "life" in it's many forms. Although I look at my hubby, who cames from good healthy genes, and knowing his past, I would think he'd have more health problems then me. Not the case. Thankfully of course! Thanks for visiting!:-)

    By Blogger 3rd Times a Charm, at 12:09 PM  

  • *sigh* can i bum a few of your narcotics? I could really use some right now... :)

    hope you're feeling better!!

    By Blogger Webmiztris, at 8:37 PM  

  • I was just getting ready to write something along the lines of "Hope you're feeling better." But then I remembered the word "Percocet" being used in your post...so I'm sure you're feeling just fiiiiiiiine! ; )

    By Anonymous Sassy, at 10:33 AM  

  • Webmiztris~
    OK, come on voer, and we can have a percocet party! (kidding!)
    I am doing better, as this prcedure is supposed to make things better. Although the drugs make me more verbose then normal! As if this were possible! LOL
    :-)

    Sassy~
    You hit it on the head! Those percky's can tend to make you euphoric! LOL Thanks for asking though;-)

    By Blogger 3rd Times a Charm, at 1:15 PM  

  • Oh yeah, my brother completed the meme too.

    http://www.kaoticism.com/home/2005/04/16/i-am-sheep/

    By Blogger Wench, at 1:44 AM  

  • He is on the list of blogs I'll be reviewing!:-) And I'll be sure to check out his answers as well.
    Thanks for the heads up Priss!

    By Blogger 3rd Times a Charm, at 12:48 PM  

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