Stumbling thru life w/Grace

Friday, April 01, 2005

Limited Time & Choices

I just want to say, that my zeal for blogging has not waned in the least, contrary to the lack of posts might indicate. During "kids week" my time is far more limited. Because I do not have my children full time it becomes more important to spend MORE time with them, when I do.

Another factor has been my Physical Therapy 3 times a week, and then the endless procedures on my neck. Which I had one this morning, at 7:00 AM. With one more, major one where they wil deaden some nerves in my neck area in two weeks. Besides the practical side of treatment, the pain keeps me from sitting too many hours in a row at the desk.

So then comes the choices, do I read and catch up on all my favorite blogs? Or do I post. Well posting has lost out, more times then not in this area. As I continue to read the many favorites I have, I feel compelled to catch up on them. I feel like I know these people. (Am I losing my sanity feeling this way??? LOL)

Also, part of me is holding my breath, until the great web designer Rachel at Bitchalicious, presents me with my new design. Obsessed over this? Quite possibly. Why? I don't really care.
I'm excited, and I like that.

My Knight in Shining Armour aka; my husband also encourages me, and supports my new hobby. Which just adds more feel good all over feelings to dabbling in blogging. The only problem, is managing my time efficiently, and respoinsibly, so he will continue to exhort me.

On that note, I want to share his latest e-mail (aka; love letter) to me. It touched me deeply. And seeing how I whined on my blog, when we had a lousy week-end, I thought it only right to share the good stuff!

For a little background, he lost his father a week ago. And he is working thru his grief. Very healthily I might add. Remembering the good times, and coming to peace with his father's life, and death.
As well as trying to work thru feelings about a few of his siblings.

Subject :
my salvation


Inbox
Dearest:
I have to tell you something: My sister's chat in some ways greatly
disturbed me, mainly because of what she told me about my two whacked
sisters. I started thinking last night about Marlene, wondering how someone
who once had such a good heart could have veered off into this state of
craziness, rage and hatred. I spent the rest of the time you and I had last
evening fighting off these thoughts. I was partly sorry for her, but far
far more than that was just trying to figure it out. Yes, I guess there
were some major, easily identifiable turning points, Y's in the road that I
can see as clear as day. Yet, what influenced her to take the wrong fork in
that road mystifies and saddens me. Jenny in some ways is a different
story. I think she made her choices so long ago that she probably can't
remember making them.
But that's not the real reason I mention Marlene here. Because the more I
thought of this mystery yesterday and this morning, the more I marveled at
God for bringing you into my life. I thought to myself how I could have
made mistakes after moving to Arizona, because I was on the verge of bad
behavior when you miraculously appeared in my life. It was as if God
stretched a long arm and plucked me from a path of self-destructive
behavior with women, drink, and whatever. A path that would quickly have
led to an empty, meaningless existence where I would have neither
rediscovered my faith nor had much to live for, where maybe I would have
continued to allow myself to be sucked in to the melodrama of my family
just because I thought I was "helping" and that somehow was finding meaning
in my life.
But instead of coming home to an empty house, I come home to you. Instead
of pursuing one woman after another in some stupid, desperate effort to
find my reckless youth or chase aging away, I have a wife to love and
family to invest my energies into. Instead of looking into life's meaning
and finding no answers, I now see God working his wondrous ways in both our
lives.
And so, whether you like to admit it or not, Tamber, you have been my
salvation. And because I recognize that, I cherish everything about you.
It's why I don't care if you don't like housework or making dinner. It's
just not important to me.
What is important is that I be a good, faithful, honest and open husband in
every way to you, and that you know that.
And so I look at today, as I do each day, as another opportunity to show
you that:
I love you, my bride,
with all my heart.

I truly love my husband's writing, and his way of being able to open up and articulate his feelings, and his thoughts. Since it is such a big part of my life, I decided, that when one of his letters evoke great emotions in me, I'm going to post it here, where I can pull them up any time I want to.

The daily grind of day to day life, can easily erode the romance and love that brought two people together. Kevin's letters are always a reminder of that romance and love. It's a few quiet moments for him, while he's writing them, and for me, while I'm reading them, to reflect on our romance. Not just our partnership in the grind of day to day life. I do respond to his letter's as well. But as I am not as talented with words as he is, they are a far cry from his poetic paragraphs. At any rate, here was my inept response.

Your e-mail today, left me speechless. Speechless and humbled. You deserve a wife who turns your home into an orderly haven. Who makes your every meal with the love and tenderness she feels. I feel this, and I want this, but my discipline at times is so lacking (much like my youngest)
I want you to know though, that I do feel all the things for you, that you feel for me. You are my salvation, and the meaning to my life. You are my better half.
And I love you with all my heart and soul my husband!

P - T - Q

Prayer : Dear Lord, please grant us the strength to overcome our weaknesses.. And thank you for helping us meet this day with serenity and calmness. Amen.

Thought : "Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece." -Nadia Boulanger, French music teacher (1887-1979)

Quip : "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." -- Rita Rudner

I hope everyone's week-end is a good one!

5 Comments:

  • After reading this...I feel like smacking my hubby and saying "HE went to Jarad's!" (Hopefully you've seen the commercial I'm referencing so I don't sound like a complete a$$!)

    And then I realized that I'm jealous over a letter and not a ring...so it doesn't apply here...hehe

    But still...an email such as the one you've just shared with us...is by far better than a ring! What a great guy!

    By Anonymous Sassy, at 12:11 PM  

  • I have said it before and I will say it again, "Words from the heart are the best gift one can ever receive."

    By Blogger Brat, at 4:42 PM  

  • Hah. Good one.
    Sweet emails, again.
    And your scorpion prank gave me the willies! I was freaking out for you.

    By Blogger Jay, at 5:31 PM  

  • Where do I sign up for the womanizing and the booze?

    By Blogger The G-man, at 3:33 AM  

  • Sassy~
    LOL. I love that Jared commercial! I know the one. And I agree with you, on the letter versus jewelry. I always would prefer my husband's thoughts. Thanks for commenting:-)

    Brat~
    Amen to that Brat. Words are far more powerful, then materialistic gifts. (Those don't hurt once in a while though...) ;-)

    Jay~
    Thank you. I think he writes good ones;-) Scorpions are a nightmare that is lived with here in the desert of AZ! And I loved your April Fools Day post by the way! My husband enjoyed hearing that I posted his prank on your site too.

    G-man~
    "Womanizing and the booze"??? Is that what you got out of my hubby's poignant letter??? LOL
    You darlin' are incorrigible. ;-)

    By Blogger 3rd Times a Charm, at 1:35 AM  

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